I'm sorry
by ab89us
Summary: My play on what happens at the end of the season finale "It's about your mother." My first Castle story, please be nice.


**This is my first Castle story so please be nice. ^_^**

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Richard Castle lay on the couch with one arm covering his eyes while the other dangled haphazardly off the side. Files and copies of his latest chapters where spread all over his chest, coffee table and floor as he slept, his gently snoring filling the room.

It had been well past midnight when he had finally closed the file that had had his attention for so long. The file of Johanna Beckett, none other than the mother of his muse…Wait, ex-muse now, Katherine Beckett.

The same woman who had told him point blank that if he even touched her mother's file that they would be through.

He knew that she was telling the truth, he really did. But he couldn't put the file down, not when he could potentially help her.

So he had ignored her. He had still worked on her mother's file and in the end had found out what had really happened to her.

But she didn't want to know, in fact as soon as the words "_It's about your mother."_ Left his lips, she had freaked out on him. Screaming at him for not listening, not letting her mother rest in peace.

He had tried to get close to her to calm her down, but only succeeded in making her even more pissed at him.

She had yelled at him until her throat was raw and tears streamed down her face. She yelled at him to leave, and not come back. They were through.

So now here he was, on his couch. In an uneasy sleep as he kept tossing and turning, as if the memories of earlier that day were plaguing his unconscious mind.

He slept on for a few more minutes, before there was a sudden knock on the door. Making him shoot up from the couch and scattered the already disheveled papers all over the place.

He blinked blearily as he wrapped his mind around what had awoken him. He remembered quickly as another knock resounded through the room.

He got up from the couch and looked through the peep hole, and was surprised to see Detective Beckett on the other side.

He opened the door and stood to the side to allow her to enter.

No words were said for a while as they just stood there, Castle with the door knob in hand and Beckett with her arms crossed over her chest and staring at the floor.

Eventually Castle closed the door and turned to her, waiting for her to say something.

When she didn't say anything, he stepped closer and gently touched her arm. When she didn't pull away, he pulled her closer to him until he had his arms wrapped around her protectively.

"I'm sorry." He whispered, as he felt her arms wrap around his waist. "I'm sorry that this happened to you, to your family. I'm sorry that I didn't listen to you. And I'm sorry that I hurt you." He said with extreme sincerity.

"You didn't hurt me." She whispered into his chest. "You helped me, and I was an ass."

She pulled away from him slightly and looked in his eyes.

"I didn't want you to look at her file because I was afraid of what you might find. I was afraid of the truth, I'm still afraid of the truth. And I'm not ready to hear what you found, not yet at least." She explained, freeing her arm from around his waist to wipe at her eyes.

"Okay." He said as he continued to hold her. "I respect that. And I am truly sorry that I didn't listen to you. It was your choice if her case was re-opened. But I didn't give you that choice. I should have, I'm sorry."

She placed her head on his chest and continued to let him hold her for a while before she looked back at him.

"Can I ask you something?" She started.

"Of course." He said.

"Why did you still look at her file even after I told you that if you did we would be through?"

"I had actually had the file for some time before I mentioned it to you. And even though you said to leave it alone, I just couldn't. I couldn't put it down."

"Why? I thought you love to help with murder cases. Why would you throw that away by doing this?"

"Because it is more important to me then helping solve some stranger's murder."

"Why?"

"Because of you, you mean more to me than murder cases. And if I could help you by helping find your mother's killer then I was willing to give up our little consultant/ cop relationship."

"You would give up your ability to follow me around, your ability to use me as your muse and to help solve murders so that you could help me find out what really happened to my mother? You would just drop everything to help me?" She asked, startled.

"Yes. You deserve to know the truth. And like I told you, you mean more to me then solving murders. I'm not willing to be totally pushed out of your life, but I am willing to be pushed out of the precinct."

"I can't push you out of my life." She said her voice barely a whisper. "But I can't have you in it if you can't listen. If you can't respect my decisions then I can't let you in, I can only push you out."

"I understand."

"Do you, really?" She asked skeptically.

"Yes."

"Good…Look I have to go." She said, pulling away from him completely. "You can still shadow me, but if you ever do anything like this again, I will have your head."

"I understand." He said as he watched her walk to the door.

"Goodnight Castle." She said before closing the door behind her.

"Goodnight." He whispered to the empty room.

He slowly made his way back to the couch and proceeded to lie down.

A small smile started to spread across his face at the thought of her not being able to push him out of her life. At the thought that she wasn't able to just push him out and forget about him completely.

The smile stayed on his face as he fell into a peaceful sleep.

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**Hope you liked it. All reviews are welcome.**


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